Daily Om

By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives�from birth onward�this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we�ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we�ve created and the beauty we�ve discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship�the one with our true selves.

Easy Chili Recipe

Crock Pot 3 Bean Turkey Chili
Gina's Weight Watcher Recipes
Servings: 12 • Serving Size: 10.8 oz • Old Points: 3 pts • Points+: 5 pts
Calories: 206.3 • Fat: 1.4 g • Protein: 16.8 g • Carb: 31.8 g • Fiber: 9.0 g  
1.3 lb (20 oz) fat free ground turkey breast
1 small onion, chopped
1 (28 oz) can diced tomatoes
1 (16 oz) can tomato sauce
1 (4.5 oz) can chopped chilies, drained
1 (15 oz) can chickpeas, undrained
1 (15.5 oz) can black beans, undrained
1 (15.5 oz) can small red beans, undrained
2 tbsp chili powder
Topping:
1/2 cup chopped red onion
1/2 cup chopped fresh cilantro for topping
shredded cheddar to top (extra pts)
Brown turkey and onion in a medium skillet over medium high heat until cooked through.
Drain any fat remaining and transfer to crock pot. Add the beans, chilies, chickpeas tomatoes, tomato sauce and chili powder mixing well.
Cook on high 6-8 hours.
Garnish with onions, cilantro and cheese and enjoy!

Daily Om

The following is an excerpt from the "How to Quiet the Mind" on-line course. If you would like to take the entire course, click here.

The mind is a wonderful tool for thinking, but it has a dark side. There is an aspect of the mind that is not useful but pretends to be useful, which is called the egoic mind. It is the aspect of our mind that chats with us as we move about our day. It is the "voice in our head," as Eckhart Tolle calls it. Much of the time, this voice seems like our own thoughts and our own voice, and we often express these thoughts (e.g., "I love doing that!" "I can't wait until tomorrow." "I wonder what will happen"). At other times, this voice is like the voice of a parent or other authority figure or a friend (e.g., "You should try harder." "Don't forget to take your vitamins." "Wouldn't it be fun to try that!"). It may even seem evil or mean (e.g., "You never do anything right. You're worthless. You might as well give up"). We tend to take this voice seriously—we believe it, agree with it, and don't question it. We believe it because we are programmed, or wired, to believe our ow! n thoughts, regardless of whether they are true and helpful or not.

Not only do we believe these thoughts, but we believe they are "ours." We identify with them—we feel they reflect who we are. We don't tend to question our own thoughts, although we readily question other people's thoughts, especially if those thoughts are different from ours. But when we stop and examine what this mental voice is saying, we discover a lot of contradictory advice, misinformation, prejudices, judgments, and other negativity. This mental voice is often unkind, belittling, fearful, self-doubting, judgmental, complaining, confused, and unhelpful.

It turns out that the voice in our head is not a very good guide to life, and yet we tend to accept what it says and do what it suggests. This voice, in fact, is the cause of human suffering. It fights life, rails against it, and is discontent and afraid. It is the voice of the false self—the ego—not the true self. The thoughts that arise in our mind cause every negative emotion we experience: fear, guilt, anger, jealousy, shame, sadness, resentment, envy, hopelessness, worthlessness, and depression. Without these thoughts, we would live in peace within ourselves and in harmony with others. But you already know this, don't you? 

The funny thing is that we can see the truth about the egoic mind and still be entranced by it, still be mesmerized by it. The programming to pay attention to and believe this aspect of the mind is very strong, and it takes not only seeing the truth about it, but also a practice, as in meditation, of not giving our attention to this mental voice before we gain enough distance from it to experience freedom and the joy and peace of our true self, or Essence, as I like to call it.

The reason for moving out of the egoic mind and into the Now is to experience who we really are. Our thoughts represent the false self, the ego. In fact, all the false self is, is thoughts. There is no substance, no thing, that is the false self—only thoughts. The false self is made up of ideas about yourself: "I'm a woman, I'm a mother, I don't like traveling, I'm middle-aged, I like blue, I'm married, my father deserted me when I was young, I want to be a novelist, I'm not pretty enough," and so on. Such ideas create an image and sense of yourself, but you are not an image or even this sense of yourself. Images aren't real or true. Feelings about yourself aren't even real or true, since they are based only on thoughts, which aren't real or true. Who you really are has nothing to do with any of these ideas, feelings about yourself, or stories you tell about yourself.

Your true self is the experience of yourself existing in this moment, free of such constructs, stories, and self-images. To experience your true self, or Essence, you have to move out of your self-images and thoughts about yourself into the experience you are having right here and now, absent of thoughts and self-images, which obscure who you really are. We become entranced by our thoughts and overlook reality—the real experience we are having here and now. The egoic mind, however, doesn't want you to stop paying attention to it, so it continually tries to engage your attention. It persists in this because this is how the false self is maintained. If you stop paying attention to your thoughts, the false self disappears, and all that's left is Essence—the real you who is experiencing this moment.

There is something else here besides this character you suppose yourself to be, and that's what is actually living your life. This that you truly are is looking out of your eyes, hearing sounds, reading and understanding these words, and having every other experience that is part of this very unique and potentially delightful moment. What else are you experiencing besides reading? What colors are you experiencing? What sounds? What sensations? What intuitions? What drives? What insights? What is the Being that you are experiencing right now?

The more we bring our focus into the present moment and onto our actual experience (as opposed to focusing on our thoughts), the more we experience the joy and contentment of the spiritual being that we are. This that we are is having a wonderful time having this adventure we call life. It embraces all of it—every experience. When we come into the Now, we experience the peace, joy, contentment, wisdom, patience, kindness, and strength of our true nature. At our core, we are all loving and joyous beings! It is only identification with the egoic mind that makes us feel and act otherwise. The only thing that interferes with the experience of Essence is absorption in thought. Imagine that! The egoic mind is the only thing that interferes with living more lovingly and more at peace with ourselves and the world. We are all beautiful and amazing creations!

My intention is to help you see the truth about your ego and the egoic mind so that you can more easily and more consistently experience who you really are. Fulfillment and true happiness is found by dropping out of our ego and egoic mind (the false self) into the Now—into the experience of Essence. That is what we are about here. The practices, explorations, video, and guided meditation offered in this lesson are a very important part of this discovery. Please give yourself fully to them this week. Sending all love and blessings…

Definition of Terms

The Now: The Now is defined most simply as the present moment. Of course, the present moment is all that exists, since the past and future are simply thoughts about the past and the future. But because we are programmed to pay attention to our thoughts, we often fail to notice what is actually going on now. Most people live in a mental world. When we drop out of this mental world into the Now, we experience a depth, a richness, and a joy and peace that feel sacred. This is the experience of our true self, or Essence. So, when we talk about being in the Now, we are also talking about this experience of Essence.

The ego: The ego is the idea of who we are (not who we really are) that is created by thoughts about ourselves: "I am fat, tall, a father, a hard worker, a musician, not good enough." These thoughts create the false self, the sense of who we are as an individual. The ego is also a primitive aspect of the mind related to survival and the storehouse of conditioned ideas and beliefs.

The egoic mind: The egoic mind is the aspect of the mind that reflects and is driven by the ego. It is the voice in our head that chats with us and chatters on. It is the ongoing mental commentary that we think of as our thoughts. The egoic mind is different from the functional or practical aspect of the mind that we use to read, learn, calculate, analyze, and so forth. The functional mind doesn't speak to us but is a tool we use when engaged in tasks that require us to think.

Conditioning: Our conditioning is comprised of beliefs, opinions, judgments, “shoulds,” and any number of other ideas that belong to our psychological makeup, most of which we acquired from other people, particularly from those who raised us, from our culture, and from what we have experienced and concluded about life. This conditioning affects what we like and don't like and how we see and react to the world, and we often respond unconsciously to it without realizing we have a choice.

Essence: Essence is who we really are, the divine Self that is living this life through us. It is our essential goodness. We are actually spiritual beings playing at being human beings.

Practices: To be done throughout the week:

1. Practice being aware of your thoughts. Where do thoughts come from? Thoughts arise out of nowhere. Just because a thought is happening in your own head doesn't mean it is any more true than a thought that arises in someone else's head. What is arising in your mind right now? Where did it come from? Someone? Something you read? Something you were taught? A TV commercial? Is it true? Is it wise? Is it useful in this moment? Is it helpful or destructive? How necessary are most of your thoughts? Do you need them to function? Do they help you function better or not? How do they make you feel?

2. Notice how uninterested the mind is in the present moment. It's fascinated with the past and the future, and it likes to evaluate the present, but the mind finds nothing of interest in the actual experience of the moment. Notice this. Notice how persistently your mind makes suggestions for thinking about something or doing something other than just being in the moment and responding to whatever is coming out of the moment. The mind has a job to do, and that job is to keep you out of the Now. How does your mind attempt to keep you out of the moment? Which tactics are the most successful at getting you to turn away from the Now? A memory? A fantasy? A desire? A fear? A should? A judgment? A thought about food, sex, time, imperfection, cleanliness, being successful, or how you look? How long do you actually stay in the Now before you go unconscious and rejoin the egoic mind?

3. Notice how much you like to be involved with the egoic mind and with thoughts about yourself and how your life is going. What wants to think is the ego, the false self; and what is capable of being aware of thoughts and of the desire to think is Essence. Whenever you are having the experience of thinking or wanting to think, it's also possible to realize that the Noticer (Essence) is perfectly content with just noticing whatever is arising in the moment and responding to that without a lot of thought.

Explorations: Do just one of these explorations, or inquiries, a day.

1. Take some time to examine what you are referring to when you think the thought "I." Try to find the I you're referring to when you're thinking about yourself. Can you locate it anywhere? You may point to your body when you say “I,” but the I isn't just the body is it? Does the I reside in the body? If it resides in the body, what is it that's aware of your body and your thoughts and even able to contemplate this question? Could that awareness be who you really are? Is awareness—consciousness—limited to the body or the mind? What if you were that awareness, and you were just pretending to be attached to a particular body-mind for the experience it provides consciousness? Who would you be then?

The real you is not your body, your mind, your personality, or any of the things you call yourself. What are such labels, after all? They are just ideas, concepts. Are you an idea, or are you what is aware of the ideas, labels, thoughts, desires, and feelings of a particular body-mind?

2. What are you aware of right now? If you are aware of a thought, ask: “Who or what is aware of this thought?” If you are aware of a feeling, ask: “Who or what is aware of this feeling?” If you are aware of a sensation, ask: “Who or what is aware of this sensation?” Take sufficient time with each of these questions to allow yourself to experience that which is aware of a thought, feeling, or sensation. The real you is what is aware of every thought, feeling, sound, sensation, intuition, urge, and insight—everything you are aware of. You are that which is experiencing this life, and That has no gender, age, past, future, or any other specific definition, but is pure Awareness, Consciousness. Who is it that is aware of the thoughts that define you? Is it the character you seem to be, or is there something else here that is character-less, that is just purely experiencing life, without ideas about liking or disliking, having or not having, wanting or not wanting?

3. Get a pencil and paper, and jot down a description of the character that your mind describes as you. What characteristics and qualities belong to that character? What does that character look like? How does that character behave? How does it feel much of the time? What are its beliefs? How does it see itself in relationship to others and to the world? This is the character you are playing, but it isn't who you really are. You are what is able to contemplate this character.

Ashley Elizabeth Designs

Pink Lagoon is loving our new floral arrangments by Ashley Elizabeth Designs! She is the cutest! Check out her blog here and see more of her work

http://ashleyelizabethdesigns.blogspot.com/2012/10/pink-lagoon-wardrobe-design-styling.html

Daily Om: Attracting Genuine Abundance

The Secret, with its cool special effects and rapid-fire delivery, was an entertaining way to get people familiar with the Law of Attraction. The movie introduced many people from the mainstream to the vast powers we all have to create the life of our dreams. If you want to put those powers to work for you, though, you need to be aware of several crucial factors that go beyond where The Secret left off.

From guiding more than 20,000 people through the practical realities of putting manifestation to work in their lives, I've learned some very important Do's and Don't's. There are a few things you can learn in an easeful way that others have had to learn "the hard way." In particular, people often make two crucial mistakes that cause their manifestation process to go awry. I want to make sure you don't make those mistakes.

The First Crucial Mistake, And How To Fix It

First, Open Your Heart

Unless you practice the Law of Attraction in a context of appreciation, your results will usually turn out upside-down and backwards from what you consciously intend. For example, if you try to manifest a new Maserati from a space of scarcity or entitlement or "I'll show everybody how cool I am," you probably won't produce a new Maserati. Even if you do, it will come with a ton of scarcity and entitlement in the trunk.

The way to fix this problem is to start any manifestation process with a celebration of what you're already grateful for. The universe loves gratitude, and will shower you with abundance if you create your new desires from a space of appreciation for what you already have.

Ongoing, the art of manifestation requires that we become manufacturers and distributors of appreciation, instead of consumers of it. Manufacturers and distributors know how to get things from the source. Consumers have to wait around for a delivery. Manufacturers and distributors of appreciation get to participate in the flow. Consumers are at the mercy of distributors and manufacturers. Their flow depends on deliveries from others.

In my unconscious days I tried to get people to love me, but they never seemed to do it right. I sought approval from people, but they never seemed to give it to me. The harder I tried to get love and approval, the less of it I seemed to get. Then, I realized what I was doing wrong: Because of various childhood issues, I'd gotten mired in the consumer role. I thought other people had the love and approval, and it was their job to give it to me. Boy, was I wrong! I was out of touch with how nature actually works. Imagine a gardener saying to a row of seeds, "First show me some vegetables, and then I'll reward you by giving you some water!" It doesn't work that way.

I stepped out of being a consumer and into the manufacturer and distributor role. Immediately my life changed. Instead of seeking approval, I thought up appreciations about the people in my life, and delivered those appreciations to them. They loved me back like never before. I beamed approval at the people I wanted approval from, and they beamed right back. I loved more, and got more love than I ever imagined. I celebrated the abundance I had, even if I only had a few dollars in my pocket, and the universe ultimately responded by making me a multi-millionaire.

The Second Crucial Mistake, And How To Fix It

Focus On Integrity

Unless you practice the Law of Attraction in a context of integrity, you will get results that are the opposite of what you consciously want.

Resonate with these two truths, both of which have been learned "the hard way" by many people:

Life flows easefully when we speak with impeccable honesty.
Life flows easefully when we keep our promises impeccably.

It took me well into my thirties to learn these simple truths. Having practiced them now for a couple of decades, I appreciate them even more than I did when I first discovered them. My life has flowed easefully since I began speaking honestly and keeping my agreements. On the occasions when it stopped flowing easefully, it's always been because I didn't speak honestly about something or didn't keep some agreement I'd made. As soon as I spotted the lie or the broken promise and took steps to repair it, my life began to flow easefully again.

The moves are simple. First, speak honestly about your feelings. Say things like this:
When you're angry, say "I'm angry."
When you're scared, say "I'm scared."
When you appreciate someone, say "I appreciate you."

In addition to speaking honestly about your feelings, take care to speak honestly about significant facts. Let's say you're Bill Clinton. If a reporter at a press conference asks you if you had sex with an intern named Monica, say "Yes." It saves time and money. People will like you better, no matter how much you think they won't. It never gets more complicated than that.

To enjoy a life that flowed easefully all the time, I had to ask myself tough questions such as: Where do I lie habitually? What do I lie about? What agreements do I tend to break? It took me several years of asking these questions before I discovered all my subtle ways of conning myself and others. As I asked the questions, though, I immediately began to reap a harvest of constantly unfolding miracles.

I discovered, for example, that I habitually lied about my feelings. In fact, I vividly remember lying about them in the first counseling class I took in graduate school. A man asked me what I was angry about in my life. I told him that I never got angry about anything. I went off on a lengthy justification of why anger was stupid and a waste of time. I still remember the look of pity on the man's face as I prattled on. Looking back at this moment from the perspective of a lifetime's learning about my feelings, I should have answered his question by saying "I'm angry at just about everything." I was overweight, stuck in a job I hated and a new marriage that was already falling apart. My old programming�Keep everything hidden inside and don't reveal what's real at all costs�kept me from simply saying, "I'm angry about a lot of things."

I've had the good fortune of meeting and spending time with the Dalai Lama on a number of occasions. In one conversation a member of the party asked him what kinds of things made him angry. Without a moment's hesitation he listed a number of things, large and small, which he felt anger about. He also mentioned several things he felt scared and sad about. I remember marveling at the sound of his voice as he talked about those things: he had the same matter-of-factness and compassion toward his own feelings as he had when he spoke of universal suffering. I admire that greatly, and have attempted to practice that attitude in my own life.

Next Steps: Your Practice For The Week

Here's a great way to jump-start the flow of appreciation and abundance in your life. If you do the following processes, I promise you'll see powerful results in your life right away.

Step One

Think of an important person in your life, and generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about that person. Write your appreciations down.
Do the same thing for a second person, and a third.
Generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about the world in general.
Generate a list of 5-10 things you appreciate about yourself.

Step Two

Speak those appreciations to the relevant people. Call, write or visit them in person to deliver your appreciations. For your appreciations about yourself, look yourself in the mirror and speak them. For appreciations about the world, speak them to anyone you come across as you move through the world. In the checkout line recently I said to the clerk, "I really appreciate how much faster these scanning cash registers are. Must be a lot easier than punching in every price." She said, "I never thought about it before, but yes, I'm grateful for that, too."

That's all it takes. We change the world one communication at a time. These activities, done sincerely, open up a field of gratitude around you wherever you go. In that field of gratitude a garden of miracles will grow.

Daily Om

When you realize that you always have the answers within yourself, you can stop searching outside of yourself.

Many of us seek the answers to life�s questions by looking outside of ourselves and trying to glean advice from the people around us. But as each of us is unique, with our own personal histories, our own sense of right and wrong, and our own way of experiencing the world that defines our realities, looking to others for our answers is only partially helpful. The answers to our personal questions can be most often found by looking within. When you realize that you always have access to the part of you that always knows what you need and is meant to act as your inner compass, you can stop searching outside of yourself. If you can learn to hear, trust, and embrace the wisdom that lives within you, you will be able to confidently navigate your life.

Trusting your inner wisdom may be awkward at first, particularly if you grew up around people who taught you to look to others for answers. We each have exclusive access to our inner knowing. All we have to do is remember how to listen. Remember to be patient as you relearn how to hear, receive, and follow your own guidance. If you are unsure about whether following your inner wisdom will prove reliable, you may want to think of a time when you did trust your own knowing and everything worked out. Recall how the answers came to you, how they felt in your body as you considered them, and what happened when you acted upon this guidance. Now, recall a time when you didn�t trust yourself and the results didn�t work out as you had hoped. Trusting your own guidance can help you avoid going against what you instinctively know is right for you.

When you second guess yourself and go against what you know to be your truth, you can easily go off course because you are no longer following your inner compass. By looking inside yourself for the answers to your life�s questions, you are consulting your best guide. Only you can know the how�s and why�s of your life. The answers that you seek can be found when you start answering your own questions.

Gowns We Love

We are absolutely obsessed with this nude gown from WWD. Nudes and blush tones are always an elegant choice for special events. 

Love Languages

    I just finished reading this book and I REALLY enjoyed it.  If you want to understand your self and your partner or boyfriend better I think it's a GREAT read.  Even if you aren't in a relationship I think it will help you understand what makes you tick and what makes your future love interest tick.  I think this could also be helpful if you are dating to help identify your future mate.  It's so fascinating to me that we all have different love languages based on how we were potentially brought up but we often act our own love language to others instead of understanding that they may speak a totally different one.  Is your love tank full?  Read this great book and start to find out .  Both my parents are psychologists so it's not a HUGE surprise to most that I find all of this interesting and helpful in our own self growth.  Now that I am more aware of my husband's  love language and my own, I'm able to speak his love language and in return I feel like he's starting to speak mine.  Enjoy   Open and honest communication is also such a good first step in growing any relationship and for some reason when we are facing any adversity in our lives we think we are the only one when in reality we live in a big world and are not alone at all in most our feelings.  If a book on the subject can be written and so many people can relate you are NOT alone.

http://www.amazon.com/Love-Languages-Secret-That-Lasts/dp/0802473156/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1348554424&sr=1-1&keywords=5+love+languages

Daily Om: Nurturing the Mind Body and Spirit

A helpful exercise is to set up an advisory panel of your past, present, and future selves.

Since we probably know ourselves better than anyone else does, then we may very well be the best person to ask for advice when we are in a quandary. One interesting exercise is to try asking for advice from your past and future selves. There is the younger self that you used to be and the older, more mature self that you will become. You can gain a different perspective when you view present situations through your younger self�s eyes or your mature self�s more experienced point of view. Perhaps, your younger self would view a current dilemma in a more innocent, less cynical way. Likewise, your older, hopefully wiser, self may offer advice from a more compassionate, experienced perspective.

Think back to how you viewed the world when you were younger. What were your thoughts on happiness, love, and injustice? Think about how you would have reacted to a dilemma you are currently facing. The perspective may shed a different light on relationships, money matters, or life decisions. Likewise, think about the person you will become. A more mature version of you might mull a problem or conflict over carefully before taking action right away� or perhaps not. Maybe your older self would be more willing to take risks, care less about what other people think, and want to enjoy life more.

You can even set up an advisory panel of your past, present, and future selves. You might even want to try to have a written dialogue with your selves to record the thoughts, feelings, and advice that your younger and older selves might have for your present self regarding a current situation. Your different selves can give you some invaluable answers. After all, no one can know you better than your selves. You are your wisest guide

Daily Om: You Are Important

Change your thinking to knowing that your life matters and that you are important.

It can be easy sometimes to buy into the illusion of our own insignificance. We may see large corporations or institutions, celebrities or successful people in our community, and compare ourselves to them, thinking that their fame or material power affirm how little our own lives amount to. But nothing could be further from the truth. Every single one of us matters�tremendously. Our very existence affects countless people in countless ways. And because we are each essentially a microcosm of the larger universe, our internal experiences affect the whole of life more than we could ever imagine. The world simply could not exist as it does now if you, or any one of us, were not in it.

Perhaps you are aware that on some level you believe your life does not matter. If this thought resonates within you, maybe it is time to explore why you feel this way. You may have formed self-rejecting or belittling beliefs as a child to keep yourself safe or to help you make sense of confusing situations. You may have felt unseen or unheard and decided that there was something wrong with you, rather than with the attention span of the people around you. Spend some time looking into where these feelings of insignificance first took root, and see what changes you might be able to make in your life and in your heart.

This one belief in your own unimportance could be limiting you and impacting your life in enormous ways. When you shift your perceptions around your own ability to affect your life and impact the world, you may discover wonderful parts of yourself that you had long ago forgotten. There may even be exciting new parts that you never even knew existed. When you gain awareness of how much your life really does matter, new sources of energy can emerge and your sense of connection with the world is renewed.